RIP 2010. You were average.

Today in economics class I discussed the year in review with my 11th graders.  Funny, no one can read "2010" or "2011" and these numbers are worth cracking up over.  That explains why they can never tell me the answer in math class. Anyways from our readings, analysts have assesed that 2010 was BLAH.

I concur with the analysts.  While the following pictures may suggest the year was more interesting than it was, remember these are only 12 days out of 362 and do not reflect the other boring 350 days of 2010(TWO-THOUSAND-TEN).

January 

On jan 1 I flew to Mexico and met up with Kat Turco where we had the advenuturas de Gato y Mantita (thats me, little blanket). I got an awesome new little (SABRINA!)  I went on a cruise with a boy I could have loved and I got to dress up like a pirate for beads.

At Chich-en-it-zahhhh (thats the local pronunciation).  On our trip Gato and I only consumer tacos and tequila for 13 days, rebuffing my view that you can lose weight weight consuming as much as you want as long as you only eat one thing. We also made rare use of showers proving that 2010 would be a stinky year.

February

I drove 13 hours in the Florida/Mississippi/Alabama/Louisianna snow to celebrate my 22nd birthday at Mardi Gras and away from my valentine.  Thanks again Micha and your awesome family!!

March

First of three trips to vegas this year!  This one was definitely the best!

April

Tried out being single.  Met some cool foreign people.  I had some interesting visitors. Relived the word's greatest T party.

May

GRADUATED!  Then went to Disney with my bffaeaeaeaeae! Now what?

June

Totally BUMMED around in Miami and learned too late who my friends are who just sucks (male and female)

July

Sold my soul to Concordia University.  Boring classes for 8 hours a day!  Still made it to Vegas a few more times.

August

Two months without sisterfriends is too long!  20 hour train ride from hell and reunion in Chicago! 

Septemeber

Technically we arrived in August but I got accquainted with my new Shanghai "family".  Started working full time at Jin Cai school for spolied and unmotivated children.

October

Back to Hong Kong!

Novemeber

Traveled alone in china!

December

Finished another semester of grad school... and 100 shots.

And so this is Christmas?!?

Christmas in an officially atheist country SUCKS. Any religious organization must be registered but still at Kiristi’s church they warn that the mass is only for foreign passport holders and people with Hong Kong and Taiwan (China?) residence permits.

To quote my friend Patrick O’Malley, this would be the worst Christmas ever, if it actually felt like Christmas and not just another Saturday. Nothing about that day or leading up to that day helped to make it feel like Christmas.

On Christmas Eve I went over to Samantha and Leila’s apartment in Jing’An for some holiday festivities. On my walk to the metro I got really sad as I thought that most of the people I passed had no idea it was Christmas and those who did, really didn’t know what Christmas means. So I cried. When I got to Sam’s neighborhood I tried to pick up some dessert but the market was filled with Chinese people trying to snatch up things for Christmas parties. I may be wrong but it seemed like Christmas to them meant cake, company and cocktails.

My Christmas celebration with the girls (and Miles) was traditional if only in the fact that we ate SO MUCH. Sam had prepared appetizers: real cheese (SO RARE), mexican dip, fruit, and Sherry and Paulette made Sushi. We ordered Mediterranean food from Sherpa’s (a food delivery service that caters from many restaurants) and had cheesecake, homemade brownies mailed from America, and cream puffs for dessert. This was a bit of a repeat for Jin Cai’s smorgasbord of different ethnic foods (which only leads to a stomach ache) and we obviously ate too much (which leads to a stomach ache). So I went home and passed out around 11:30.

Ugg collection.  These are fake China Uggs which make your feet smell grossssss so you can imagine what our Christmas eve smelled like.

My amazing China family <3

I woke up early on Christmas Day and Santa left a bottle of tequila for me, Annie and Miles. According to the Internet, St. Ignacius Cathedral had an English mass at 10:30 but it was actually at noon so I ended up having Christmas breakfast at Starbucks. I got sad again because even in this very commercial part of town no one cared that it was Christmas. The store decorations were minimal and even though some employees wore Santa hats, no one said Merry Christmas or even Shengdan kuai le. Maybe they think its like most Chinese holidays that are spread over multiple days but get with the program peeps. It’s December 25, EVERY YEAR. So then I cried at breakfast.. and again at church.

Church was nice, I’m glad I went. I definitely prefer the Catholic mass over the nondenominational one but I must say people were less friendly at this one. I couldn’t tell If it was the form of service or the fact that it was filled of expats that made the other church so friendly. I still can’t make a definite judgement because to my surprise there were a lot more Asians, and to my guess since they didn’t take communion, a lot more Chinese people, at the Catholic church. They sang parts of the mass that are usually spoke and some of the tunes were a bit odd. Still the mass ended in exactly an hour and there was communion which made it much shorter than singing camp church.

I spent most of the afternoon after Church being a lazy bum and then decided to take advantage of the fact that my gym was open on Christmas Day (which would never be the case in the US of A). I ran a lot to try to forget the things I ate/would eat that night.

Christmas evening I wore a silly outfit of green tights, red shoes, and a black dress. My students already called me an elf because I have small feet and I knew they would make fun of me if they saw me out. Annie, Miles, Samantha, Leila, Sherry and I went to… guess…. Blue Frog… for Christmas dinner and for the 12 Shots of Christmas. We did not plan to have 12 shots left on Christmas it was just serendipitous. However, we made a mistake, then they made a mistake, then we had to do the 100th shot again, then we got a celebratory shot… so it turned into the 16 shots of Christmas. Don’t get scared, some are like grenadine and cream which is really no shot at all and in total it probably amounted to four real shots… mixed with a pastrami sandwich and fries. Oh so why the 12 Shots of Christmas? Because they were our last 12!!!! Miles and I finished the Blue Frog 100 Shot Challenge! It was a party! The manager announced it to the whole restaurant and we were gifted (yay Christmas presents) with a shot glass, tumbler glass, umbrella, hat and t-shirt! Now whenever we go into the restaurant they owe us a drink! Time to start making money off of this investment.

the last ones!

98/99 New York Cali double whammy.



COMPLETED! Our cards are going on the wall!



Me and Samantha!  These are actually all her pictures :) Look at her pretty necklace she designed at the pearl market!



The non-alcoholics



On the 12th shot of christmas blue frog gave to meeeeee...

Celebratory shot 101!

As if the night could have gotten any better, Miles proposed. Check out our "free" gear.

All of our Chinese friends told us they go clubbing on Christmas so we tried giving that a shot. The best part of that adventure was our spontaneous Christmas song medley in the cab. The scene was too Asian for us so we waiting til Christmas ended and midnight and called it a night.

Have a Johnny Walker Christmas!

Well Christmas just ended in American and I hope it was a good one! I promise I will be home next year!!!

Boys are dirt

Today as I was exiting the metro to go home, the guy in front of me kept looking back at me with some strange look.  This isn't too unusual but as we got on the escalator I realized why he was doing so.  He was walking with his hands behind his back and his digital camera was facing me and playing PORN. WHO DOES THIS?! I wanted to snatch it but I didn't feel like getting in a fight and my Chinese is too bad to argue or cuss someone out so I just stared at my fingernails.

Then, I get home and I go upstairs thinking I'll watch a Christmas movie. WRONG.  My straight male roommates left for a three day vacation (YAY!) and they left "the man cave" a mess.  As if all the random couchsurfers we have hadn't run our bills up enough, they left their lights on.  So I bitched and complained and blogged about it but you know what else I did?  I cleaned it. This is against my moral code since I was raised by decent human beings who taught me to clean up my own mess.  Merry Christmas you filthy animals.

Usually before I  leave for a 3 day vacation I try to clean up a bit although it must have been a struggle for them to catch that 11am flight (note my sarcasm, that is not early).

Oh so thats where ALL of our plastic cups are.  I cringed while cleaning up crusty peanutbutter.

Hark the herald angels shout no more days til we get out!

No more days til we're set free from this penetentiary!

Ah an Emma Willard throwback!  I am not in the mood to talk about missing Revels this year but maybe if I saw it I would have an ounce of Christmas spirit.  I went to see the Shanghai Ballet perform The Nutcracker but it was no substitute for Revels.

The weather has put a damper on my Christmas spirit as it was a beautiful 60 degree day today. It is suppose to snow tomorrow; perhaps that will make it feel like Christmas but I think it will make me cold and miserable.

Today Jin Cai (my school) did what it is so famous for, impede on students' learning.  Today was International Day.  My stomach still hasn't recovered from this morning where students and their parents came and "sold" food and items from their home country.  We paid for these delicious items with paper money given to us by the school).  Some of my favorite items included rice noodles and worchester sauce from South Korea (another reason I should not cancel my flight), TACOS from the parents of these four sisters from Mexico, and peanutbutter cookies with hershy kisses on them from the good ol' US of A.  On the program for the day the event was aptly called a "schmorgasboard".

My homeroom! Those wonderful kids I spend time with everyday including THREE periods on wednesdays :( Thats the homeroom teacher with Yukkee (Chinese) and Lucas/Nick (can't tell which one but they're twins from Singapore).  They made kimchi pie (korean)

Apparently chocolate covered bananas are Japanese? Maybe not but this boy enjoyed making them.

Me with Nicole and Jazmine (Phillippines).  They got their hats for winning first place in the international song competition.  I don't teach Nicole or her brother but they got me a scarf!

Cute little korean elementrary schooler

Korean mothers tuning the gym into a kitchen.  The pan on the right is beef and rice noodles and it was delicious!

MEIGUO!  Dunkin donuts, apple pie and magnets with Obama's face on them.

MEXICO!  I got to meet my student Carla's parents.  They have four girls at JCID and they're such a cute family!

My new adorable elementrary school friend.

The afternoon was dedicated to yet another talent show.  Chinese people can't name all events properly in english and they messed up this time by called the talent show a "Chrismas show".  These people don't know a think about Christmas!  Other than some red and green pom poms and a few santa hats, there was nothing Christmas related about the show.  Thankfully, since we had parents in the audiencee, the sluttiness was toned down a lot.  12th grade made another video and won again.  I don't have the new video but you can watch the one from last week here; http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjI4ODc5MTY4.html!  It's really good! 

Oh and what's Christmas without presents!? A religious holiday?  The school gave gifts to all the foreign teachers.  I got a leather jewery box and some others got leather tissue box covers or candles.  Random.  I would prefer a retake of our Thanksgiving festivities instead.  I also received THREE scarved!  One from my real supervisor Julia, one from my co-worker/classmate Jenny, and another from a student I don't even teach!  I also got candy from Elyse and dried purfume from a student who is failing my class :(  I feel quite bad because I didn't get anyone anything! Call me Scrouge. Bah humbugggggg.

China is the scarf capital of the world.  As I was packing for China I debating taking some with me but I knew they are so cheap here!  I now have three purple scarves and one is made out of bamboo!

Don't drink and drive.. spoken from an accident victim

Last night I joined my boy roommated for some drunken go carting.  Although there are signs that say don't drink and drive, there is a bar.  This plus the fact that I haven't driven in four months equals a very bruised Francesca. When we were there we had so much fun but now as a black, blue and purple swollen mess I understand why we were the only people there.

 I spent the day walking around school like I had a hicky but it was actually seat belt burn.  My butt is a lot worse but I won't post a picture of that.

Catholic church take me back!

Today I attended a non-denominationional chuch service at Shanghai Community Fellowship. I believe once my theology teacher assigned us to go to a service of a different religion or denomination; I probably made this assignment up because this was my first time attending a non-Catholic service. As a vetern of 11 years of Catholic school, I am a faithful member of the Catholic church... on Christmas and Easter. I find yoga stressful so I thought this week I would try church as a way to relax.

I always had my compaints about church going. One complaint was that church is too long.  Well this church was twice as long as my typical experience (ALMOST 2 HOURS!). Secondly, church can be boring.  I thought music would spruce it up but instead it felt like a cult and made me very uncomfortable.

My regular church going friend Kirsti told me the music is the "best" part. There were maybe 15 songs sang.... 5 times more than I am used to and NO Christmas songs. These songs were accompanied with electric guitar. I think the Pope would call this "unprofessional". I was also distracted by people raising their hands up to the Lord.  You don't need to touch Him! He is already in you and you want Him closer?! I prefer some distance to my God.  It was only 50 years ago when you had to know Latin to talk to God and Jesus and the priest stood behind a railing from Church goers.

As removed as I felt from this whole experience, I still noticed a strong feeling of hospitality. Perhaps it was the people's faith but it could just be this is how expats act around each other and the situation becomes more social than spiritual.  Either way, I have officially been scared back into the Catholic Church, at least for Christmas day.  I will return to my world of canabalisic eatting of the body and blood of Christ (on his birthday how barbarian!) and perhaps even pray to a saint at St. Ignatius.

Baking with anorexics and Americans

Last Thursday I helped Jenny with her baking elective class.  For some reason (dance rehersal probably) most of the students didn't show and it was just me Jenny and three of my favorite 11th grade girls.  One Japanese girl was saying how a 10th grader is so sexy and so she was on a diet where she can't eat anything so she can look like the other girl.  BAD IDEA.  First of all this girl is tinyyyyyyy and the other one is just gross looking.  We easily convinced her to have some cookies and she gobbled down a bunch.  I hope she is that easily convinced to have dinner!

So I spent the rest of my week/weekend cooking and baking with my classmates Samantha and Leila.  Both nights ended in eating glutinous amount of food (pasta, rice, eggs, chicken and more veggies than I ate in months!) and me crashing on their couch.  Its just too cold to ride the metro and I lost my metro card AGAIN.  Sam and Leila tell me they like it when I stay because I help them cook delicious food and I clean up after myself (DUH THATS WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO DO.  I don't know why so many people here have a problem cleaning up their own messes).  So my friends call me their aiyi which is the chinese way to address a domestic helper. They used to have two Phillipina aiyis come and cook and clean for them once a week but on Saturday these women did not show up.  Therefore, I became aiyi.  We also watched a bunch of Christmas movies and spent hours making Christmas plans.

OH AND I FINISHED MY COURSEWORK!  Two semesters down one to go!!!! :)

Its snowing in Shanghai!

Its snowing in Shanghai and I am not happy about it.

This made my unbearably long walk to Lion's cave/house even worse.  Lion's mom told me 在上海不常常下雪 (In Shanghai it does not often snow).  Lucky me.

People say I am from New York I should be used to it. I compare it to a shotgun wound.  If you're shot many times, it doesn't make the last one hurt any less than the first.

I've never missed Miami more :(

In other depressing news, it is period quiz week and I just finished grading math quizes.  They are REALLY bad.  Worst than expeceted. BAD BAD BAD. I can't cover the details because it really is depressing.  The only thing that could make the situation more depressing would be if my school were in America.  And speaking of which, two of my students (twins) tried to delay math class today by going on their tirad of how America is making the world a worse place.  They do this in all of the their classes.  I've avoided it thus far this school year since I thought math was a non-biased subject. They also told me more people die from coconuts than terroris and that I should sell ALL my stock and buy silver.  No thank you, I will not take financial advice from someone who cannot subtract -1 from -3.  Their dad is apparently some important financial guy so they may know more than i want to believe.  I think I would actually like their dad, he's big on finance plus he is making them go to school in America! hahaha I am a little concerned they will be arrested for "subversion of the state" a la Liu Xiaobo but we don't really do that in America.

So here is my Christmas request: may the weather, my students, and the financial markets stop depressing me.  Xiexie ni.

New career choice: full time Lion trainer.

I have a new boss... a 1st grader named Lion.  As an aside, Lion does not top the list of wild Chinese names.

Here's how this happened:
Saturday night: Roommate Miles tells me there are pleanty of jobs on echinecities.com for white (female) english speakers.
Sunday morning: I apply
20 minutes later:  I get a phone call for an itnerview
Monday afternoon: interview success
Tuesday evening I meet Lion

I rode the metro and then walked an unbelieveably long distance in the cold to their home (damn you Shanghai for literally being the worlds largest city by landmass and population). They're actually Korean-chinese and live in a neighboorhood full of Korean restaurants that I must try.  Lion did his homework on a low asian style coffee table and we sat on the HEATED FLOORS.  His mom listened in a little bit, I don't think she always will, and said she would help me learn chinese :)  Instead of walking that awfully long walk the parents drove me home in their BMW which smelled heavenly (apparently my heaven is either a car dealership or a leather tannery).

I get the sense that his international school is a lot better than the one I teach at.  He gets a new short picture book to read every night and his mom is suppose to sign a sheet saying he read it.  Even in the elementrary school at Jin Cai, parently involvement is still very low.

So why would I give up five precious hours of my week to help Lion?
Because I want to am going to Europe.  All hoping Spring Festival 2011 in Japan works out with Katherine Collins, we will be going to Europe together this summer.  So many American 20-somethings dream to travel through Europe by train.  Well we are going to one up them and travel TO Europe by train (the New York-London train is currently unavailable).  The plan is finish school June 30 then take the TRANSIBERIAN through Mongolia, Russia, Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Poland, German and Holland!  Ok so the plan is still in the works but as I slaving away doing 1st grade homework I will think happy european thoughts.

Also, I am SEVERELY underpaid.  I teach math so of course I think in numbers.  If I just tutored for two hours a day, instead of working the eight I work now, I would be making the same salary. I think there is a book called the 20 hour work week?  something like that... anyways meet the ten hour work week wahahaha.

Oh and for the record: I actually like tutoring.  Teaching isn't really my thing though.  Maybe because I teach math and math is never FUN.

Finally appreciated!

Last week I was told a chinese teacher who the school was interesting in hiring for next year would be teaching one of my classes.  At first I was really excited to spend less time with 11th graders but then I got a little upset, what if I wanted to teach again?  I know I can make 2-10 times as much as I do working at another international school but it would be so easy to teach the same thing again.  Even with all the complaints I make about teaching I know that it gets exponentially easier every year.

Well the guy taught today and I sat in the back of the room with four other teachers/administrators.  I thought it was ok, just a little nervous but my students hated him!  They were very vocal about that before the guy even left the room.  I was  starting to think their hate for math spread to hating me but students hugged me and begged me not to leave :)

I don't suck as much as I thought.

Well Katherine Collins is on her way here, and its a Monday so you know where we'll be :)

Art Week

Some people (artists) say that schools do devoute enough resources to studying the arts.  I fully support art or band class or any other extra-curricular activies (Glee Club) which are art related however, I do not find it appropriate to cancel 15 periods of class, right before period quiz week, for students to dance on stages as sluts.  Ok only a few girls danced like sluts but my school did cancel all afternoon classes for a week.  Plus it became an acceptable excuse the week before art week for students to skip class for practice.  Here are just a few of the highlights from the inter-class talent show today.

Grade 10: If you watch just one video, this is it.

Chinese section grade 11. So cute. So innocent. Instead of no pants, they were bright colored pants :)

This is my supervisor Jess dressed as a boy (I didn't even recognize her at first!) and my roommate Mike and teacher Brian

Oh and I almost forgot, I had to sing Apologize (the One Republic song) on stage with ESL.  Brilliant.

Chinese sounds pretty?

This is my favorite scene from Vicky Cristina Barcelona. I love the actors but I think the movie is slightly overrated.

I must agree with Penelope Cruz's character and say few things sound better in Chinese. The only world I can think of right now is Keqiguan > Shanghai Science and Technology Center.

Speaking of movies, I just watched the first half hour of Capitalism: A Love Story which was just enough time to say WORST. MOVIE. EVER. School of Business, you taught me how to be an appreciatively little capitalist.

I miss reading days

If I somehow managed to prolong my undergrad career even longer (I studied abroad twice, two majors, a minor, three classes away from minoring in three different subjects but I thought too many minors looked bad), I would be "studying" right now.

Miami generously grants the Monday and Tuesday before exams as class-free and test-free study days.

I usually (always) spend the first one hungover because its right after (semi)formal weekend.  In the evenings, I shop at Macys.  My boss always shared her friends and family pass with me and this is fantastic christmas shopping for moi (studying is stressful). The friends and family sale conveniently falls during both fall and spring semester reading days.

I also studied.  Campus used to, and hopefully still does, set up tents on the green for studying. The library gets packed and I think the tents are quieter. Miami has this slogan "studying can be in-tents" get it intense, in-tents?

Reading days also remind me of Whole Foods because it seemed like food that was good for my mind and I NEEDED to get off campus and treat myself.

Online classes don't give reading days.  1) there are no classes 2) there are no exams....  also, there's no teaching, or as our teacher who teachers us how to teach call it, there are no "guided learning activities".  We're just little fish all by ourselves in a big Chinese sea.

Well enough ranting about how I should be studying.  Time to write a thesis proposal, or do the infinite amount of homework my Chinese tutor gave me, or plan lessons for open house tomorrow... or just go to sleep.

FOLLOW ME

WOW my official followers just went through the roof!  In 11th grade math, we would call this an exponential increase!  Readers out there, please follow me... or else its just stalking and that gets weird.

Who wants to write my thesis? ;)

I'm thinking about outsourcing offshoring? outsourcing.

Despite its low profile name, Concordia’s MAIS degree program has its merits:

1)      Get a Masters degree in one year

2)      Live in China while you are doing it

3)      Have some of the least rigorous thesis requirements ever.

My thesis only has to be 25-40 pages but I still don’t know what to write about! My thesis proposal is due Saturday and I need to start contacting an advisor soooooooooo if you have any ideas… I WILL USE IT.

As it stands, I will propbably be writing about corporate philanthropy, or the general lack of philanthropy in China. Wahhhh.

Hmmmm if only my students spoke English I would assign this to them.

I am a weapon of massive consumption

For the third day in a row I have been dreadfully sick and living off of gatorade and crackers.  I did however sumon the strength to go shopping.  It was a beautiful 68 degree December day and I couldnt spend it cramped up in the apartment... so I spent it cramped up in Cloud 9 shopping mall with a million Chinese folks.

This weekend is semiformal weekend at Miami and out of nostalgia... I needed a dress.  I tried on a bunch and wanted them all but settled on just one :(

Then I went to meet Jenny, Ellyse and Josh at Keqiguan AKA Science and Technology Center.  This is knockoff/stolen goods/hiden gem heaven.  Jenny and Ellyse are hilarious. They go there daily and have all of these shop owner "friends".

I liked their scarf friend so I bought a red one and I even bought a hat... and I hate hats!  This one is cute... I think.

Oh and 10 kuai ($1.50) pearl (?) earings that seemed to pass every test for pearl (I put them in my mouth, why not I'm already sick, and we scraped them hard with pliers).

Hmmm and I also bought Rosetta Stone Italiano for $10... a savings of $590!  This will be left in plastic until I master Chinese.... waaaaaahahaha never.

Sometimes you win some (today) and sometimes you lose some (I'm just going to walk away when I hear the word "leather").

Did shopping make me feel better? mmmm no.  Was it fun? Absurdly. I might stay home from work but the thought of getting oxycodone from the school nurse is very tempting.


PS extra bags on delta are $150 EACH... if anyone in my family finds a cheap RT flight it might be more cost efficient.

Pay per hour... for me!

Yesterday I got paid for my services!  200RMB an hour.

I got paid to tutor this girl, Carolina in English.  If her name does not sound Chinese to you, you are correct.  She's Chilean!  I studied in Chile for 6 weeks so I was excited to meet up with a Chilean.  This was a win-win-win situation because

1. I got paid!  I pay my tutor 100 an hour so I can now afford that wooo.
2. I got to speak Spanish! Carolina speaks NO english.  It must be so difficult living here speaking no Chinese or English.
3.  Her brother is cuteeeeeeee. Kat (my roomate in Chile) and I used to joke there was only one cute Chilean (she was dating him) but I guess there are a few more. He was the one who contacted me about looking for a tutor. Oh and he works in the wine busineness so we have similar interests.

But just my luck, the day was not all well.  I was woken up at 4am by my obnoxious drunk roommates and I couldn't go back to sleep. I say I NEED 7 hours of sleep a night and I am not joking.  It used to be 8 but a semester of working on a campaign, classes, and waitressing reduced that to 7.  Some people think its ok to stay up late if we are having fun but I still NEED 7 hours.  Stupid boys caused me to get 3.5.  Clearly we can't be friends anymore.

Also, I was waiting for Deigo and Carolina at Starbucks and started feeling very sleepy and sick.  I ran to the bathroom and projectile vomited all over it.  I took the subway home and it happened again, just off the subway.  Blair (Miami sisterfriend) puked outside the metro in Chicago after work and said it was her most embarassing story.  I tried to comfort her by telling her all the many embarassing places I got sick (Dolphin/Landshark/Sunlife Stadium, a bus to the Orange Bowl, a bus to formal (can't do buses), pulled over on the side of the road (can't do cars), Newport beach....) but now I know she is right.  There's nothing more humilating than a crowded train station of watching you spill your lunch into the trash.  So I slept for twelve hours and I am still in bed.  Annie and I are suppose to go to Nanjing today (3 hour train ride away) and I am hoping she forgets because the thought of getting out of bed is dreadful.

There is a mole in my office :(

I have never shown a movie for more than three minutes in class but teaching a double period of ESL has gotten tough since my star students left. After midterms, the students who scored well got moved to English section and now I am stuck with the kids who really couldn't care less.

I can't talk to myself for 80 minutes so I decided we were going to watch a movie. I came across a real gem, The Magic School Bus Goes Inside Earth which was perfect because we were learning about geology!

I couldn't upload the whole video because I am in China and god knows that would have taken almost a year to load and no one would watch it anyways but here is a preview to bring back memories.


Anyways, the plan failed because THERE IS A MOLE. Someone in this office is out to get me. Right before my class starts my supervisor comes in and asks if I have an extra chair. Yes, that was her way of letting me know she would be observing my class. So I faced a decision, play 40 minutes of the magic school bus or make an imprumptu lesson. Call me a baby but considering I am suppose to ask for her permission before playing any movies, I decided to teach. It was awful. I had to send kids to detention and they wouldn't leave! They also wouldn't answer ANY of my questions. On my own part, I didn't have any hand outs, a presentation, or any idea what I was doing. I haven't heard her comments yet but I'm pisseddddddd. :(

TiGIM Thank god its Monday

Thank god its Monday! TiGIMMMM!!

So Smartshanghai.com (my surival guide to western friendly activities in Shanghai) posts a column called legacy about ways for the very average person to find immortality in Shanghai.  Guess what they are featuring now, my Monday night routine, Blue Frog's 100 shot challenge.




You can read all about it here: http://www.smartshanghai.com/blog/1599/Legacy_Blue_Frog’s_100_Shots_Challenge.html

So we arent doing it as cool as these other people who completed it in under a week... we typically drink 5 a week, but since we skipped last week, tonight was a 15 shot night.  Now we are at 55 and need to finish 100 by Christmas (our arbitrary deadline!)

As the article says it best, taking these shots feels like...
It’s like…

… chugging a bag of angry marbles.

… swallowing a hornet’s nest.

… devouring a Care Bear sautéed in maple syrup.

… eating a five-year-old’s birthday party.

… consuming an Indonesian parliamentary session.

… ingesting a malfunctioning cotton candy machine.

… digesting a Lady Gaga video (topical one -- she’s so hot right now).

… noshing on the Gaza Strip with a side of Bosnia.

roommate aka alcholics anonymous.  Everyone at the resaturant think we are baller (we drop A LOT of money there)/alcholics

Some roommates only wanted 10 shots... meet the hardcore crew. Notice the John's asian flush and Mile's pinkness.  I just get more pale ;(

Annie was in an asian sorority but I made her honorary ADPi because I haven't done this in a while!

So thankful

HAPPY THANKSGIVING from ther 5th floor of Jin Cai International School.  Yes, I brought my laptop to work because blogspot/facebook/commucication with the outside world is not ordinarily allowed in China.

So I got to spend my first period on Thanksgiving Day being observed by my Professor from Concordia and guess what, he actually said it went great!  There were two minor setbacks: 1) I normally teach them second or third period which both end at 5 after and today, we met first period which ends at 9:15 and I almost let them out 10 minutes early. oops.  2) Only two students did thier hw (after I begged them to do it!). They were suppose to compare answers with classmates during the first 5 minutes of class and when no one had thier homework, instead of kicking everyone out or complaining, I told them quietly, "keep talking about math".  It actually worked and my professor said "It seems that unlike the ESL students these students actually do their hw'. HAHAHAHA

Tonight teacher Brian is inviting all of the teachers to  his apartment where he will generously be providing a Thanksgiving dinner.  Tomorrow night, the school is taking us to Malones, a good American style restaurant, for dinner and LOTS of wine.  Last faculty dinner everyone was encouraged to get wrecked on wine so it is gaurenteed to be a good time.

In keeping with the holdiday, I am reflecting upon things I am thankful for.  Being in China for three months has really made me appeciate my many blessings. Here is my short list where I removed the less serious items such as my VPN which gives me unrestricted internet access, dishwashers, cotton socks, chapstick, and bubble tea.

In all seriousness I am thankful for:

1. Moms and pops. They love me.  I love them :) They make everything else on this list possible.  I kinda like Carl too but he should talk to me more.  I love Mickey; he's the best damn dog ever and I actually talk to him more than I talk to my brother. Even with my two Thanksgiving dinners chances are the dog will eat more turkey than I will.  Of course I love grandma, gramps and the whole Carbonaro crew as well!
2. My friends.  There are two ways to find out if you have a connection with someone: travel with them or travel without them.  My bestest friends all mostly in America (basically just New York, Chicago, and Miami) and I miss them soooo much.  Its been amazing how we've kept in touch and they've offered the relief that has kept me from packing my bags so many times.
3. Being born American.  This has nothing to do with American being the best country blah blah whatever flag waving jingoists want to say; it has to do with me be a native english speaker.  As much as I try to learn foreign languages I am not too great at it and I couldn't imagine traveling in Asia without knowing English! I met a french couple who could barely speak english and couldnt work an ATM! How do you travel without speaking and without access to money! I would also tolerate being born in the UK but that involves a bit of pretentiousness that is beyond me.
4. My education. WOW. Attending Jin Cai makes me appreciate Emma Willard 12987593486998456983456988696 times more, if that is even possible.  Except for those four dodgey years at Catholic Central, I had it pretty good.  Actually even Catholic Central Junior High was a good place, I remember some junior high teachers really well but I can only think of the name of one good teacher I had in highschool.
5. Having the opportunity to travel (so much that I fill a passport!).  This isn't something a lot of people get to do and I am thankful for having so many great stories and lessons learned.

If I were sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner I would probably just say "I am thankful for my family" and then eat so although this list is not complete, it shows some thought.

Happy Thanksgiving.  Don't tell me how delicious it was or I will slaughter your like the colonists did.

Naked fingers

The two most common question I get asked in China both have to do with jewelry.

The first is, " would you like to buy a watch?' or "watchy".  I point to my watch and put a kuai into my travel fund.  running estimate is I'll have a few hundred kuai in there before I go home.

Question two is "are you married".  Given that question three is "are you a student or a teacher" I seem a little young for married life.  I laugh, say no, and ask why and the questioner points at my ring which on my RIGHT index finger. :(  I've had this ring since my First Communion (which would have made me 8 years old?) and now I cannot wear it anymore :(  Months ago, I was warned that every finger on the left hand means something in China and now I learn, I am better off not wearing any ring at all.  The jewelry industry really needs to fix this impression.

Life goals and reasons not to lie to your boss

Today I completed Life Goal #1 by going to the American Citizen Services Consulate to get more passport pages!!!  I specify, Citizen Service, because despite being in a high-end mall with Burberry, Dior, and Channel, the office itself was kinda grungy. I hope that the actual consulate is nicer.

You have to schedule an appointment for more pages and they are only open Monday thru Friday until 3pm.  So, I had to leave work early and I am glad I asked my boss about it because as I walk in the office, guess who had the other 3pm appointment... my boss! 

One of my roommates/coworkers who I liked to call Piece of Shit, but his mother calls him Michael, has the habit of making up lies to leave work early. This really isn't necessary.  Last week I asked to leave to go shopping and was given permission.  Ask and you shall receive.

Anyways about these life goals; there are three.

1.  Fill a passport (technically I am still half a page away but with my recently purchased tickets to Korea and Japan I think we can cross this bad boy off the list)
2. Become trilingual in English, Spanish and Chinese
3. Run a marathon half-marathon (I wanted to be realistic) 

 Now that I am a grown adult of 22 years (har har harrr), I decided to revisit these goals.

1. Get a DIPLOMAT passport (second time is the charm foreign service officer test!)
2. Become trilingual in English, Spanish, and some language that isn't impossible to learn- Chinese is just too difficult
3. Run a marathon (There is a group of us with plans to run a half marathon ON THE GREAT WALL and it is just too soon to start crossing off life goals!)

Perhaps I will have a family too but that doesn't concern me much now.  For now I will concentrate on mind (languages), body (running) and soul (traveling is my one love).

Buena suerte!

I picked an awesome time to travel to Seoul

I'm actually not traveling to Korea until January but two days after I booked my ticket, tensions between North and South Korea have escalated.

I asked a three Korean students what were their sentiments about these recent events and here's what they had to say:
Student 1: "It's scary"
Student 2: "I don't want to go home!"
Student 3: "That's fucked up shit"
Yep those are my smart and respectful students.
According to my Chinese Foreign Politics professor, June Dryer, China's stance on the Koreas is the keep the status quo. Two separate countries are viewed as much less of a threat to China's economic and political influence than a united Korea (either communist, such as China, or not).

Yes Celine, these are the special times

For the past THREE weeks I have been committing many musical faux paus.

1.       Don’t listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving

2.       Don’t listen to Christmas music at the gym

3.       Don’t listen to Celine Dion Christmas music at the gym

Thanks to a godly service called google.cn/music I can download all the Christmas music I want… for free!  For the past twelve years (hard to imagine) my favorite Christmas album has been Celine Dion’s album called These are the Special Times, which is actually one of my favorite songs on the cd along with duets with Andre Bocceli and R. Kelly (better you never thought you’d hear those two names in the same sentence).  Anyways, this is not gym music.

Preparing to spend Christmas alone is not something I am looking forward too.  I had a small break down in I’ll be home for Christmas… and tis only November.  I actually used to love preparing for Christmas in Miami.  It was so cute to see people wear Uggs in 70 degree weather and I would load up on Starbucks peppermint mochas, particularly at the Starbucks on Lincoln road because it brings memories from Christmas’s past.  The best part about preparing for Christmas in Miami:  I WAS GOING HOME.  Free of classes, free of work.  Unfortunately, I am not going home because I am not free of work. Thanks anti-religious China for giving me ONE LOUSEY DAY off for Christmas.  I would love to celebrate Christmas on the beach but since I am underpaid and waste my on retail therapy, I will be spending it alone in Shanghai.  Expect Skype calls.

Anyway, my glee club that I coach had our first practice today to prepare for the school Christmas show.  When choosing songs there were some that I just could not handle.

List of approved Christmas songs

• I’ll be home for Christmas (cruel joke)
• Let it Snow (I wish, I miss NY white Christmases)
• All I want for Christmas is you who? I'm damn lonely
• Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree uh that can cause a FIRE
• The Christmas Song (Chestnuts roasting on an open FIRE--- still too soon)
• Rudolph the Red Nosed reindeer/Jingle Bells/anything childlike will not be played (I am used to spending Christmas with 20 younger cousins and now cousins children… don’t make me homesick)
• Christmas shoes (WORST. CHRISTMAS. SONG. EVER.)
•  We Wish you a Merry Christmas (why not?)
• Blue Christmas (that’s more like it)
• My Grown Up Christmas List (peace and love? Still good themes)
• Santa Baby (more my Christmas list style)

And speaking of music and my Christmas list, here you have it:

1. Cinnamon gum
2. Resses peanut butter cups (apparently those Chinese don’t think it is a good idea to mix chocolate and peanut butter
3. A new 60gb iPod (I have LOTS of music and my broke a few days after arriving in China)
4. A plane ticket to Koh Samui so I can hop and inconvenient ferry to spend Christmas day with Susan

You know where I live mommy dearest :)

Ur childrinz kant reed

Drum roll please....

The results of first semster's midterms did fail to disappoint, if like me, you were expecting disappointment.

Playing jokes on your students is not as fun as I thought it would be.  I thought giving my 11^th graders a midterm made up of their previous two period quizzes would give them a chance to succeed, especially since I spent an entire week reviewing those two quizzes specifically.  Well, the first three kids to hand in their tests did so as soon as they could and their average midterm score was a 3… out of 100.  I thought they could do well since they saw everything before but instead it just made me really sad and I felt like I was wasting so much time trying with these kids.

I have the same students for Economics and they did SLIGHTLY better.  There were fewer blank questions but still the average was a 45, and only one student got above an 80 (he got a sticker).  Since the test was 50% new material since the period quiz I decided to give them a curve.  The midterm was only 20%  of their grade, and I gave almost every student  full points for homework and  participation which boosted the overall scores in the class to a C.

Then there are my 12^th graders who are allergic to word problems and graphing.  Unlike my 11^th graders, they actually ask me questions in class and come to my office for help so I thought they were taking the class seriously.  Sadly, they only half pay attention to my explanations and end up only getting half credit, at best. Still I think the average score on this test was a 50%.  They gave me the whole we are going to college speel and I fell for it so they are getting the opportunity to do corrections for extra credit.

The only class to give me any joy was my ESL class.  These kids were my least favorite at first.  I had a small breakdown when  my schedule got changed and I was going to have to teach them for a double period on Tuesday.  However, we made it into a fun time.  Almost everyone passed the midterm.  Alan, who sometimes I didn’t even know was alive, passed the midterm. There were 5 90s.  I went out and got stickers I was so proud.  Unfortunately, this success brings sadness.  I found out today that five of my favorite students (yes all teachers have favorite students, mine are the smart ones, plus a few others) will be leaving my class to go into English section.  This leaves me with the bad kids.  Class will totally have a different dynamic because the kids who participate will be gone and I will be left with the sleepers, the crazy ADHD runner, and the Japanese girls.

All this news comes in time for parent teacher conferences which were tonight.  They did not started until 6:30 and I finished teaching at 2 so I asked my boss if I could leave to go shopping and she said yes.  :)  I should have stayed out because parent teacher conferences were and hour and a half and I spoke to THREE parents.  Two of the parents are Japanese and don't speak a lick of english.  The other told his son a C is not an acceptable grade then when the son went away, he thanked me because its been years since his son even got a C.  I kind of have mixed feelings about that but I am determined for his boy to get a B next term :)

This fire was not started by an electricc blanket... or me.

This could have been me if I didn't wake up to my burning bed during the Great Halloween Fire of 2010.
I'm not sarcastic, just scared.  47 people who died in this fire in Jing'An, Shanghai and I hope that they all may they rest in peace.

This story was front page international press.  Part of why the fire was so destructive was because the fire hoses could not reach beyond the 12th floors.  This story was the first thing my daddy asked me about by watn the phone today and he was relieved to know I live on the 8th floor.

Chongqing? Whats that?

Why its China's third largest city (4th if you count Hong Kong in China and I WON'T!)
While I was in western China I wanted to go to Chongqing because I wrote a report on how China was focusing on the city.  This strategy targeted two goals of China 1) to develop its interior and 2) to transition into a high technology and service economy. Thereby, Chongqing has become a center of technology, especially green technology. 

For a city so focused on business, I expected to see a lot more foreigners than I did.  I actually spent my two days there only seeing two white people.  They were some oddly dressed girls; one had a parka on and the other was wearing booty shorts. I don't know where they were coming from but it was cold out.

In short here are the highlights/my obeservations.

• When you have only one tooth and it is your front one, it looks REALLY big.
• Its ok, even suggested, to eat street sushi (from a vendor)
• People here LOVE banana bread.  I taught my econ class how in a command economy there were often shortages and people would line up for rations.  This is whant I assumed was going on when I saw, count them, FIFTY people lines up at each of 3 stands for banana shaped banana bread.  Naturally I joined the line and for 9RMB I got about two dozen bananas.  They were super good hot (I won't say how many I ate) but the next day there were nasty.
• There is a surplus of 5 star hotels, including then wonderful Golden View Hotel which...
• MY HOTEL HAD PUPPY MARKET IN FRONT OF IT!  I withheld my urge to ask 多少钱？ (how much) because I knew if I asked, I would have to smuggle a puppy onto a plane.  The coolest one was a white dog with spray painted orange ears and a green tail (GO CANES).  There was also a dog spray painted like a panda.
• 
• A cab driver first tried to rip me off, then asked me to be his long distance girl friend, then proposed to me.  He also spoke mandarin the whole ride which bring me to my next point
• Hearing too much mandarin HURTS.  When I first took Mandarin at CUHK no one could pronounce the tones (still can't) and we would all move our hands or at least our heads to try.  This gave me such bad head aches I took ten minute bathroom breaks.  A week of nonstop Chinese has the same nauseating effect.
• Due to the sheer boredem of traveling alone I read two books, planned a weeks worth of math classes, actually did my homework, and made spread sheets and lists of everything I have to do in the next 3 weeks.

Thank you Golden View, Pepto and PANDAS.

Greetings from the smack middle of China.  I am writing to you from the luxurious (actually no sarcasm for once) Golden View hotel in Chongqing, China.  This is my stopover from Chengdu where I spent the last few days.

It’s not that my hostel in Chengdu was bad, the staff was super friendly and helpful and the place was clean.  However, I was debating flying home early or sticking to my original plans of going to Chongqing.  A little exhausted, mostly because I am not used to being this laid back, I decided to rest at a 5 star chinese hotel in Chongqing.  The Golden View is very nice; I have two TVs (that I don’t understand a single program but I put the news on anyways), two couches, two refrigerators (?) and a big bed.  The bathroom is probably as large as my room in shanghai, which is still big for Chinese standards.  I'm also looking forward to my Cantonese style (dim sum!) breakfast tomorrow.

The fine selection of nice hotels, super highspeed trains and abundance of highend shopping (giant Louis Vuitton and Gucci stores) has made me consider that the Middle of China is more developed that the middle of the United States.  I will fully support this “middle” theory but if you want to to consider Chicago and the greater Midwest, then it’s a closer competition.  So you go to the Midwest and you go to Chicago… are there daytrips outside the city? Hardly.  In Chengdu you can spend a half day watching adorable little pandas and you can even volunteer with them!  There are half a dozen ancient villages nearby such as the one I visited.  So let’s leave difference in per capita GDP aside and say that I would prefer Chengdu over Lincoln, Nebraska any day.

 I also want to thank Pepto-Bismol for helping me digest Chengdu’s spicy food and weird vegetables.  Couldn’t have made it through the train ride without you. Don’t get me wrong the food was delicious and I definitely ate a lot of it. Lots of ma po dofu, ya cai baozi and streetfood covered in spice.  Oh I also drank a lot of milk tea which since I can’t drink milk, wasn’t a good idea either.

Finally thanks to the PANDAS AKA the reason I came to Chengdu in the first place.  Note to self, next time my travel agenda involves only one thing that takes half a day to do, don’t go alone and make plans to stay for a week.  But anyways, I saw pandas which made it totally worth it.  Let me tell you… they are WAY cuter in person, especially the babies. Now if only they didn’t sleep so much. The time they are awake the spend eating at then sleep about 18 hours a day because they only digest 20% of what they eat and don’t have enough energy to do anything else.  They don’t even have enough energy to copulate so scientists have to do that for them.  Dumb pandas… but so cute!

On the panda tour I met two new Chinese friends, Dora and Snail (no joke).  Dora was actually the tour guide and she carried a backpack which made the Dora the Explorer jokes abound.   She wakes up at 6:30 am every day, give the tour, then goes straight to classes at the university where she is an English major, then she goes back to the hostel where she works! 

After the tour, Dora went to class and I went to get lunch with Snail.  Snail is from Gansu province, the province just north of Sichuan (where the pandas are).  Snail was an English major in college too but she graduated four years ago and her English is barely intelligible because she hasn’t used it since college.  She now works for the Family Planning Bureau and her job involves her going door to door to see how many children each family has and punishing them if they have more than one child. Actually, rural families can have two children if the first born was a girl but everyone else gets fined and either has to give money, some crops, or spend time locked away!  Anyways, Snail treated me and a very attractive French couple (who I want to be) out to lunch.  Lunch was a typically Sichuan meal of spicy noodles and jiaozi (dumplings) and only cost 4 dollars for the four of us but Snail insisted she pay.  That’s the Chinese way, if you suggest going out, you pay. We decided before we got to China that we would not be practicing that rule in our apartment.

As repayment, I told snail I want to take her and Dora out for a western meal.  We talked about this on our tour and they had never had western food.  It’s not that they weren’t open to the idea, but they were told all the western food in China is bad.  There are KFCs, McDonalds, and Pizza Huts galore and it surprised me that they hadn’t been to one.  I offered to take them not just for the experience, but to complete a homework assignment, which was to take a Chinese person to enjoy an activity they always wanted to do but haven’t.  Honestly, my options to do this assignment were limited.  First, I had to survey ten Chinese people and find out what they like to do, and what they wish they could do but haven’t.  Most want to travel and find a spouse and I wasn’t going to be much help in that area.  So the third most common response was go out to dinner.

I gave them a choice of KFC, Pizza hut, and cheap Mexican restaurant that was advertised on the back of my map.  They really enjoyed it.  Their one comment that stuck out was that the food is bland, which I could only assume was a comparison to their spicy sichuanese food.

Dora is coming to Shanghai in two week and hopefully I will see her again then!

In conclusion, the people in Chengdu might be the nicest ever. Unlike my last solo trip, or any time I spent in South east asia in general, I was not the least it harassed.  A few times someone would ask if I wanted a ride in their cab or motor bike but that was it.  In South East Asia I would be pulled towards a specific store or harassed to stay at a certain hostel.  I really enjoyed Chengdu but I am looking forward to R&R and seeing the sights (not sure there are any) in Chongqing.