There is a mole in my office :(

I have never shown a movie for more than three minutes in class but teaching a double period of ESL has gotten tough since my star students left. After midterms, the students who scored well got moved to English section and now I am stuck with the kids who really couldn't care less.

I can't talk to myself for 80 minutes so I decided we were going to watch a movie. I came across a real gem, The Magic School Bus Goes Inside Earth which was perfect because we were learning about geology!

I couldn't upload the whole video because I am in China and god knows that would have taken almost a year to load and no one would watch it anyways but here is a preview to bring back memories.


Anyways, the plan failed because THERE IS A MOLE. Someone in this office is out to get me. Right before my class starts my supervisor comes in and asks if I have an extra chair. Yes, that was her way of letting me know she would be observing my class. So I faced a decision, play 40 minutes of the magic school bus or make an imprumptu lesson. Call me a baby but considering I am suppose to ask for her permission before playing any movies, I decided to teach. It was awful. I had to send kids to detention and they wouldn't leave! They also wouldn't answer ANY of my questions. On my own part, I didn't have any hand outs, a presentation, or any idea what I was doing. I haven't heard her comments yet but I'm pisseddddddd. :(

TiGIM Thank god its Monday

Thank god its Monday! TiGIMMMM!!

So Smartshanghai.com (my surival guide to western friendly activities in Shanghai) posts a column called legacy about ways for the very average person to find immortality in Shanghai.  Guess what they are featuring now, my Monday night routine, Blue Frog's 100 shot challenge.




You can read all about it here: http://www.smartshanghai.com/blog/1599/Legacy_Blue_Frog’s_100_Shots_Challenge.html

So we arent doing it as cool as these other people who completed it in under a week... we typically drink 5 a week, but since we skipped last week, tonight was a 15 shot night.  Now we are at 55 and need to finish 100 by Christmas (our arbitrary deadline!)

As the article says it best, taking these shots feels like...
It’s like…

… chugging a bag of angry marbles.

… swallowing a hornet’s nest.

… devouring a Care Bear sautéed in maple syrup.

… eating a five-year-old’s birthday party.

… consuming an Indonesian parliamentary session.

… ingesting a malfunctioning cotton candy machine.

… digesting a Lady Gaga video (topical one -- she’s so hot right now).

… noshing on the Gaza Strip with a side of Bosnia.

roommate aka alcholics anonymous.  Everyone at the resaturant think we are baller (we drop A LOT of money there)/alcholics

Some roommates only wanted 10 shots... meet the hardcore crew. Notice the John's asian flush and Mile's pinkness.  I just get more pale ;(

Annie was in an asian sorority but I made her honorary ADPi because I haven't done this in a while!

So thankful

HAPPY THANKSGIVING from ther 5th floor of Jin Cai International School.  Yes, I brought my laptop to work because blogspot/facebook/commucication with the outside world is not ordinarily allowed in China.

So I got to spend my first period on Thanksgiving Day being observed by my Professor from Concordia and guess what, he actually said it went great!  There were two minor setbacks: 1) I normally teach them second or third period which both end at 5 after and today, we met first period which ends at 9:15 and I almost let them out 10 minutes early. oops.  2) Only two students did thier hw (after I begged them to do it!). They were suppose to compare answers with classmates during the first 5 minutes of class and when no one had thier homework, instead of kicking everyone out or complaining, I told them quietly, "keep talking about math".  It actually worked and my professor said "It seems that unlike the ESL students these students actually do their hw'. HAHAHAHA

Tonight teacher Brian is inviting all of the teachers to  his apartment where he will generously be providing a Thanksgiving dinner.  Tomorrow night, the school is taking us to Malones, a good American style restaurant, for dinner and LOTS of wine.  Last faculty dinner everyone was encouraged to get wrecked on wine so it is gaurenteed to be a good time.

In keeping with the holdiday, I am reflecting upon things I am thankful for.  Being in China for three months has really made me appeciate my many blessings. Here is my short list where I removed the less serious items such as my VPN which gives me unrestricted internet access, dishwashers, cotton socks, chapstick, and bubble tea.

In all seriousness I am thankful for:

1. Moms and pops. They love me.  I love them :) They make everything else on this list possible.  I kinda like Carl too but he should talk to me more.  I love Mickey; he's the best damn dog ever and I actually talk to him more than I talk to my brother. Even with my two Thanksgiving dinners chances are the dog will eat more turkey than I will.  Of course I love grandma, gramps and the whole Carbonaro crew as well!
2. My friends.  There are two ways to find out if you have a connection with someone: travel with them or travel without them.  My bestest friends all mostly in America (basically just New York, Chicago, and Miami) and I miss them soooo much.  Its been amazing how we've kept in touch and they've offered the relief that has kept me from packing my bags so many times.
3. Being born American.  This has nothing to do with American being the best country blah blah whatever flag waving jingoists want to say; it has to do with me be a native english speaker.  As much as I try to learn foreign languages I am not too great at it and I couldn't imagine traveling in Asia without knowing English! I met a french couple who could barely speak english and couldnt work an ATM! How do you travel without speaking and without access to money! I would also tolerate being born in the UK but that involves a bit of pretentiousness that is beyond me.
4. My education. WOW. Attending Jin Cai makes me appreciate Emma Willard 12987593486998456983456988696 times more, if that is even possible.  Except for those four dodgey years at Catholic Central, I had it pretty good.  Actually even Catholic Central Junior High was a good place, I remember some junior high teachers really well but I can only think of the name of one good teacher I had in highschool.
5. Having the opportunity to travel (so much that I fill a passport!).  This isn't something a lot of people get to do and I am thankful for having so many great stories and lessons learned.

If I were sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner I would probably just say "I am thankful for my family" and then eat so although this list is not complete, it shows some thought.

Happy Thanksgiving.  Don't tell me how delicious it was or I will slaughter your like the colonists did.

Naked fingers

The two most common question I get asked in China both have to do with jewelry.

The first is, " would you like to buy a watch?' or "watchy".  I point to my watch and put a kuai into my travel fund.  running estimate is I'll have a few hundred kuai in there before I go home.

Question two is "are you married".  Given that question three is "are you a student or a teacher" I seem a little young for married life.  I laugh, say no, and ask why and the questioner points at my ring which on my RIGHT index finger. :(  I've had this ring since my First Communion (which would have made me 8 years old?) and now I cannot wear it anymore :(  Months ago, I was warned that every finger on the left hand means something in China and now I learn, I am better off not wearing any ring at all.  The jewelry industry really needs to fix this impression.

Life goals and reasons not to lie to your boss

Today I completed Life Goal #1 by going to the American Citizen Services Consulate to get more passport pages!!!  I specify, Citizen Service, because despite being in a high-end mall with Burberry, Dior, and Channel, the office itself was kinda grungy. I hope that the actual consulate is nicer.

You have to schedule an appointment for more pages and they are only open Monday thru Friday until 3pm.  So, I had to leave work early and I am glad I asked my boss about it because as I walk in the office, guess who had the other 3pm appointment... my boss! 

One of my roommates/coworkers who I liked to call Piece of Shit, but his mother calls him Michael, has the habit of making up lies to leave work early. This really isn't necessary.  Last week I asked to leave to go shopping and was given permission.  Ask and you shall receive.

Anyways about these life goals; there are three.

1.  Fill a passport (technically I am still half a page away but with my recently purchased tickets to Korea and Japan I think we can cross this bad boy off the list)
2. Become trilingual in English, Spanish and Chinese
3. Run a marathon half-marathon (I wanted to be realistic) 

 Now that I am a grown adult of 22 years (har har harrr), I decided to revisit these goals.

1. Get a DIPLOMAT passport (second time is the charm foreign service officer test!)
2. Become trilingual in English, Spanish, and some language that isn't impossible to learn- Chinese is just too difficult
3. Run a marathon (There is a group of us with plans to run a half marathon ON THE GREAT WALL and it is just too soon to start crossing off life goals!)

Perhaps I will have a family too but that doesn't concern me much now.  For now I will concentrate on mind (languages), body (running) and soul (traveling is my one love).

Buena suerte!

I picked an awesome time to travel to Seoul

I'm actually not traveling to Korea until January but two days after I booked my ticket, tensions between North and South Korea have escalated.

I asked a three Korean students what were their sentiments about these recent events and here's what they had to say:
Student 1: "It's scary"
Student 2: "I don't want to go home!"
Student 3: "That's fucked up shit"
Yep those are my smart and respectful students.
According to my Chinese Foreign Politics professor, June Dryer, China's stance on the Koreas is the keep the status quo. Two separate countries are viewed as much less of a threat to China's economic and political influence than a united Korea (either communist, such as China, or not).

Yes Celine, these are the special times

For the past THREE weeks I have been committing many musical faux paus.

1.       Don’t listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving

2.       Don’t listen to Christmas music at the gym

3.       Don’t listen to Celine Dion Christmas music at the gym

Thanks to a godly service called google.cn/music I can download all the Christmas music I want… for free!  For the past twelve years (hard to imagine) my favorite Christmas album has been Celine Dion’s album called These are the Special Times, which is actually one of my favorite songs on the cd along with duets with Andre Bocceli and R. Kelly (better you never thought you’d hear those two names in the same sentence).  Anyways, this is not gym music.

Preparing to spend Christmas alone is not something I am looking forward too.  I had a small break down in I’ll be home for Christmas… and tis only November.  I actually used to love preparing for Christmas in Miami.  It was so cute to see people wear Uggs in 70 degree weather and I would load up on Starbucks peppermint mochas, particularly at the Starbucks on Lincoln road because it brings memories from Christmas’s past.  The best part about preparing for Christmas in Miami:  I WAS GOING HOME.  Free of classes, free of work.  Unfortunately, I am not going home because I am not free of work. Thanks anti-religious China for giving me ONE LOUSEY DAY off for Christmas.  I would love to celebrate Christmas on the beach but since I am underpaid and waste my on retail therapy, I will be spending it alone in Shanghai.  Expect Skype calls.

Anyway, my glee club that I coach had our first practice today to prepare for the school Christmas show.  When choosing songs there were some that I just could not handle.

List of approved Christmas songs

• I’ll be home for Christmas (cruel joke)
• Let it Snow (I wish, I miss NY white Christmases)
• All I want for Christmas is you who? I'm damn lonely
• Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree uh that can cause a FIRE
• The Christmas Song (Chestnuts roasting on an open FIRE--- still too soon)
• Rudolph the Red Nosed reindeer/Jingle Bells/anything childlike will not be played (I am used to spending Christmas with 20 younger cousins and now cousins children… don’t make me homesick)
• Christmas shoes (WORST. CHRISTMAS. SONG. EVER.)
•  We Wish you a Merry Christmas (why not?)
• Blue Christmas (that’s more like it)
• My Grown Up Christmas List (peace and love? Still good themes)
• Santa Baby (more my Christmas list style)

And speaking of music and my Christmas list, here you have it:

1. Cinnamon gum
2. Resses peanut butter cups (apparently those Chinese don’t think it is a good idea to mix chocolate and peanut butter
3. A new 60gb iPod (I have LOTS of music and my broke a few days after arriving in China)
4. A plane ticket to Koh Samui so I can hop and inconvenient ferry to spend Christmas day with Susan

You know where I live mommy dearest :)

Ur childrinz kant reed

Drum roll please....

The results of first semster's midterms did fail to disappoint, if like me, you were expecting disappointment.

Playing jokes on your students is not as fun as I thought it would be.  I thought giving my 11^th graders a midterm made up of their previous two period quizzes would give them a chance to succeed, especially since I spent an entire week reviewing those two quizzes specifically.  Well, the first three kids to hand in their tests did so as soon as they could and their average midterm score was a 3… out of 100.  I thought they could do well since they saw everything before but instead it just made me really sad and I felt like I was wasting so much time trying with these kids.

I have the same students for Economics and they did SLIGHTLY better.  There were fewer blank questions but still the average was a 45, and only one student got above an 80 (he got a sticker).  Since the test was 50% new material since the period quiz I decided to give them a curve.  The midterm was only 20%  of their grade, and I gave almost every student  full points for homework and  participation which boosted the overall scores in the class to a C.

Then there are my 12^th graders who are allergic to word problems and graphing.  Unlike my 11^th graders, they actually ask me questions in class and come to my office for help so I thought they were taking the class seriously.  Sadly, they only half pay attention to my explanations and end up only getting half credit, at best. Still I think the average score on this test was a 50%.  They gave me the whole we are going to college speel and I fell for it so they are getting the opportunity to do corrections for extra credit.

The only class to give me any joy was my ESL class.  These kids were my least favorite at first.  I had a small breakdown when  my schedule got changed and I was going to have to teach them for a double period on Tuesday.  However, we made it into a fun time.  Almost everyone passed the midterm.  Alan, who sometimes I didn’t even know was alive, passed the midterm. There were 5 90s.  I went out and got stickers I was so proud.  Unfortunately, this success brings sadness.  I found out today that five of my favorite students (yes all teachers have favorite students, mine are the smart ones, plus a few others) will be leaving my class to go into English section.  This leaves me with the bad kids.  Class will totally have a different dynamic because the kids who participate will be gone and I will be left with the sleepers, the crazy ADHD runner, and the Japanese girls.

All this news comes in time for parent teacher conferences which were tonight.  They did not started until 6:30 and I finished teaching at 2 so I asked my boss if I could leave to go shopping and she said yes.  :)  I should have stayed out because parent teacher conferences were and hour and a half and I spoke to THREE parents.  Two of the parents are Japanese and don't speak a lick of english.  The other told his son a C is not an acceptable grade then when the son went away, he thanked me because its been years since his son even got a C.  I kind of have mixed feelings about that but I am determined for his boy to get a B next term :)

This fire was not started by an electricc blanket... or me.

This could have been me if I didn't wake up to my burning bed during the Great Halloween Fire of 2010.
I'm not sarcastic, just scared.  47 people who died in this fire in Jing'An, Shanghai and I hope that they all may they rest in peace.

This story was front page international press.  Part of why the fire was so destructive was because the fire hoses could not reach beyond the 12th floors.  This story was the first thing my daddy asked me about by watn the phone today and he was relieved to know I live on the 8th floor.

Chongqing? Whats that?

Why its China's third largest city (4th if you count Hong Kong in China and I WON'T!)
While I was in western China I wanted to go to Chongqing because I wrote a report on how China was focusing on the city.  This strategy targeted two goals of China 1) to develop its interior and 2) to transition into a high technology and service economy. Thereby, Chongqing has become a center of technology, especially green technology. 

For a city so focused on business, I expected to see a lot more foreigners than I did.  I actually spent my two days there only seeing two white people.  They were some oddly dressed girls; one had a parka on and the other was wearing booty shorts. I don't know where they were coming from but it was cold out.

In short here are the highlights/my obeservations.

• When you have only one tooth and it is your front one, it looks REALLY big.
• Its ok, even suggested, to eat street sushi (from a vendor)
• People here LOVE banana bread.  I taught my econ class how in a command economy there were often shortages and people would line up for rations.  This is whant I assumed was going on when I saw, count them, FIFTY people lines up at each of 3 stands for banana shaped banana bread.  Naturally I joined the line and for 9RMB I got about two dozen bananas.  They were super good hot (I won't say how many I ate) but the next day there were nasty.
• There is a surplus of 5 star hotels, including then wonderful Golden View Hotel which...
• MY HOTEL HAD PUPPY MARKET IN FRONT OF IT!  I withheld my urge to ask 多少钱？ (how much) because I knew if I asked, I would have to smuggle a puppy onto a plane.  The coolest one was a white dog with spray painted orange ears and a green tail (GO CANES).  There was also a dog spray painted like a panda.
• 
• A cab driver first tried to rip me off, then asked me to be his long distance girl friend, then proposed to me.  He also spoke mandarin the whole ride which bring me to my next point
• Hearing too much mandarin HURTS.  When I first took Mandarin at CUHK no one could pronounce the tones (still can't) and we would all move our hands or at least our heads to try.  This gave me such bad head aches I took ten minute bathroom breaks.  A week of nonstop Chinese has the same nauseating effect.
• Due to the sheer boredem of traveling alone I read two books, planned a weeks worth of math classes, actually did my homework, and made spread sheets and lists of everything I have to do in the next 3 weeks.

Thank you Golden View, Pepto and PANDAS.

Greetings from the smack middle of China.  I am writing to you from the luxurious (actually no sarcasm for once) Golden View hotel in Chongqing, China.  This is my stopover from Chengdu where I spent the last few days.

It’s not that my hostel in Chengdu was bad, the staff was super friendly and helpful and the place was clean.  However, I was debating flying home early or sticking to my original plans of going to Chongqing.  A little exhausted, mostly because I am not used to being this laid back, I decided to rest at a 5 star chinese hotel in Chongqing.  The Golden View is very nice; I have two TVs (that I don’t understand a single program but I put the news on anyways), two couches, two refrigerators (?) and a big bed.  The bathroom is probably as large as my room in shanghai, which is still big for Chinese standards.  I'm also looking forward to my Cantonese style (dim sum!) breakfast tomorrow.

The fine selection of nice hotels, super highspeed trains and abundance of highend shopping (giant Louis Vuitton and Gucci stores) has made me consider that the Middle of China is more developed that the middle of the United States.  I will fully support this “middle” theory but if you want to to consider Chicago and the greater Midwest, then it’s a closer competition.  So you go to the Midwest and you go to Chicago… are there daytrips outside the city? Hardly.  In Chengdu you can spend a half day watching adorable little pandas and you can even volunteer with them!  There are half a dozen ancient villages nearby such as the one I visited.  So let’s leave difference in per capita GDP aside and say that I would prefer Chengdu over Lincoln, Nebraska any day.

 I also want to thank Pepto-Bismol for helping me digest Chengdu’s spicy food and weird vegetables.  Couldn’t have made it through the train ride without you. Don’t get me wrong the food was delicious and I definitely ate a lot of it. Lots of ma po dofu, ya cai baozi and streetfood covered in spice.  Oh I also drank a lot of milk tea which since I can’t drink milk, wasn’t a good idea either.

Finally thanks to the PANDAS AKA the reason I came to Chengdu in the first place.  Note to self, next time my travel agenda involves only one thing that takes half a day to do, don’t go alone and make plans to stay for a week.  But anyways, I saw pandas which made it totally worth it.  Let me tell you… they are WAY cuter in person, especially the babies. Now if only they didn’t sleep so much. The time they are awake the spend eating at then sleep about 18 hours a day because they only digest 20% of what they eat and don’t have enough energy to do anything else.  They don’t even have enough energy to copulate so scientists have to do that for them.  Dumb pandas… but so cute!

On the panda tour I met two new Chinese friends, Dora and Snail (no joke).  Dora was actually the tour guide and she carried a backpack which made the Dora the Explorer jokes abound.   She wakes up at 6:30 am every day, give the tour, then goes straight to classes at the university where she is an English major, then she goes back to the hostel where she works! 

After the tour, Dora went to class and I went to get lunch with Snail.  Snail is from Gansu province, the province just north of Sichuan (where the pandas are).  Snail was an English major in college too but she graduated four years ago and her English is barely intelligible because she hasn’t used it since college.  She now works for the Family Planning Bureau and her job involves her going door to door to see how many children each family has and punishing them if they have more than one child. Actually, rural families can have two children if the first born was a girl but everyone else gets fined and either has to give money, some crops, or spend time locked away!  Anyways, Snail treated me and a very attractive French couple (who I want to be) out to lunch.  Lunch was a typically Sichuan meal of spicy noodles and jiaozi (dumplings) and only cost 4 dollars for the four of us but Snail insisted she pay.  That’s the Chinese way, if you suggest going out, you pay. We decided before we got to China that we would not be practicing that rule in our apartment.

As repayment, I told snail I want to take her and Dora out for a western meal.  We talked about this on our tour and they had never had western food.  It’s not that they weren’t open to the idea, but they were told all the western food in China is bad.  There are KFCs, McDonalds, and Pizza Huts galore and it surprised me that they hadn’t been to one.  I offered to take them not just for the experience, but to complete a homework assignment, which was to take a Chinese person to enjoy an activity they always wanted to do but haven’t.  Honestly, my options to do this assignment were limited.  First, I had to survey ten Chinese people and find out what they like to do, and what they wish they could do but haven’t.  Most want to travel and find a spouse and I wasn’t going to be much help in that area.  So the third most common response was go out to dinner.

I gave them a choice of KFC, Pizza hut, and cheap Mexican restaurant that was advertised on the back of my map.  They really enjoyed it.  Their one comment that stuck out was that the food is bland, which I could only assume was a comparison to their spicy sichuanese food.

Dora is coming to Shanghai in two week and hopefully I will see her again then!

In conclusion, the people in Chengdu might be the nicest ever. Unlike my last solo trip, or any time I spent in South east asia in general, I was not the least it harassed.  A few times someone would ask if I wanted a ride in their cab or motor bike but that was it.  In South East Asia I would be pulled towards a specific store or harassed to stay at a certain hostel.  I really enjoyed Chengdu but I am looking forward to R&R and seeing the sights (not sure there are any) in Chongqing.

How to NOT by plane tickets part 2

Greeting from Chongqing!  I tried to make last minute plans but I am not in Shanghai due to

4. Don't try to buy a ticket within 24 hours of a flight
... that is unless you have a Chinese bank card.  OH WAIT, I DO! Only my bank card has no expiration date, no security code, and doesn't even have my name on it!  Basically, my employer can put money in the account but it extremely difficult to take money out.

So, when I tried to book a ticket back to Shanghai, I was denied.

Much to my dislike, flying in China is not cheap. The paradox is China is known for being cheap.  Paying more gives me the mental security that my plane will not fall to the grown minutes after take off (knock on wod knock on wood) and I get a chinese fast food meal on every flight. My POL 213 teacher informed me that all US airlines used to offer more luxuries, at a higher price, until dereguglation and increase competition in the 1970s.  As a semi-communist country, competition is limited to a few industries private domestic airlines have just recently been established in China. However I would like to know when I pay more I ACTUALLY HAVE A TICKET.

How NOT to buy plane tickets in China.

Other than accidently spelling my name wrong (VERY WRONG) once, I think I have gotten the American airline booking system down to an art, but when it comes to buying plane tickets in China, I am a failure. This post outlines the three obstacles I have faced in ym three atempts to board a plane.

1.  No no you had a reservation not a ticket
So this is what happened when I tried to get to Shenzhen during October holiday.  I arrive at the airport and instead of having three tickets, there is one and it is not for.  After paying way too much to buy a ticket standby during a week long national holiday, I find out that they charged me anyways.  I got the charge removed but still that was wayyyy too much undo stress. So much I willk refer you to my Hong Kong summary post rather than outline the horrors again.

2. Delivery time is whenever we want
So after printing my email confirmation to find it was just a reservation and not a ticket, I decided to use the same service, but have my ticket to Chengdu delivered.  I checked delivery at 8pm and I got an email saying they would come between 8-9.  Nope they came at 6.  Thankfully my roommates were home and got the ticket but they didn't have cash so I have no idea how I paid for it.  The guy said credit card but since my work debit card only has an account number on it, no name, no expiration date or security number, I know it is not on that card.  At least I have a ticket and I am going to see the pandas tomorrow!... hopefully.

3. Send us your passport... again... and again
Becuase of geopolitics and Chinese and Japanese people HATING each other... a round trip ticket from Shanghai to Tokyo cost more than a roundtrip ticket from Albany, New York to Tokyo (I looked itno this because my mom should meet me in Tokyo---PUHLEASE!).  However, this outrageous cost compared to my measly income will not deter me. 
Kayak.com, which for those of you who do not know is an awesome search engine that searches multiple airlines, told me the cheapest flight was $2000 for a one way (I am looking to take the ferry from Korea to Japan and then fly from Japan to Shanghai). Well china southern airlines had a flight for $450 but I couldn't book it online. After days of rejection, I asked my Chinese co-worker if she would call for me.  I apparently "made a reservation" (meaningless words) but they needed me to e-mail them my passport, so I did.  Then the call me while I am on the train to Hangzhou and tell me I need to e-mail them my passport.  So I do, again.  Then, on my way home from Hangzhou I get another call, we need you to e-mail us your passport.  I told them I emailed it to them twice and they give me the same address to try again.  So here I am, still waiting, hoping maybe I will have an actual plane ticket, and not a reservation.

So perhaps I am going to Japan?

And perhaps when I get to the airport to go to Chengdu tomorrow they will let me on the plane?

I am go to Chengdu AKA the middle of China, alone for a week so if you don't hear from me... I guess I miscalculated on using more of my 9 lives ('Nam.... Halloween fire....)

WISH ME LUCK!

I'll say hi to the pandas for you!

Hangzhou a go go

I finally made it to Hangzhou... now I can scratch that off my list.

My grad school program has about 40 students split between Shanghai and Hangzhou, a small city of three million people that you probably never heard of.  Two of my friends in Hangzhou were having a birthday celebration this weekend and I wanted to go visit.

It's not that I never say no to a party, after almost burning down the apartment/DYING in a fire last weekend, partying has lost some of its appeal.  However, I will not say no to a birthday celebration. I love birthdays and I feel responsible for making sure their special day is special.

No long distance or 120RMB train ticket was going to keep me away but one thing might have, homework.  Since I teach all week long I tend to put homework off until the weekend.  Meaning I spent my Friday night attempting to write the financial part of a plan to export distilled dry grain solubles (DDGS) to China.  With some creative accounting put into my pro forma income statement, it is actually a very profitable business. I also had to write summarizes of two chapters of my business class reading.  Our actually homework involved reading from four books and we had to post summaries for two of them.  What about the other two you ask? Well, I've never seen those books.  I don't own them and don't plan to read them.  Supposedly they would help me write my business plan but you know what else would? A DEGREE IN FINANCE. Check.

Most of my other homework this week consisted on commenting on everyone else's homework.  Last week I had to write a research report on visiting a facort and this week I had to comment on two other student's reports, using APA citations of a scholarly article. Throughout the semester the assignments alternate, one week we write a report modeled after a chapter in Ikles' book The Return of the God of Wealth about like in Guanzhou, China, and the next week we comment on two other student's work.

I also take a teaching class (WHYYYYYYYY) which doesn't have too much homework mostly because I TEACH 40 HOURS A WEEK.  This week I had to read 3 chapters and write about three points that stood out to me (teachers should smile, teachers should call students by their names, teachers should have mutual respect..... who would have thought?!)  and the comment on two student's responces. 

It might not sound like too much homework (or too mind stimulating) but combined with 40 HOURS OF TEACHING it takes a day out of my week... and that day is usually Saturday.

Regardless, I was determined to go to Hangzhou... on the 5 o'clock train... unil I got a message from Jenny and Ellyse who were going on the 4 o'clock train.  So, I decided to turn in my homework as it was (oops) and try to make it to the train station.  Well, I missed the train.  However there were four more trains leaving that hour and I just bought a ticket on the next available train. Turns out Jenny and Ellyse missed the train too and had to buy new tickets but we were on different trains. After wandering outside the station and being harassed for being a white girl all by herself, I found out that Jenny and Ellyse were at Hangzhou station and I was at Hangzhou Nan (south).  I gave the cab driver my friends addressed and prayed he would take me there.  I HATE taking cabs alone, especially at night.  Thanks to Beijing standard time (one time zone for all of china) and winter approaching, it gets dark at 6.

I put my stuff down, but on a dress and we took a cab to dinner.  The restaurant my friend chose was called Angelo's and it said on the sign New York Italian.  That's right, this Italian girl from New York come to China, by train to Hangzhou then takes a cab, and another cab to a New York Italian restaurant.  I barely eat in Italian restaurants in American and now I had to bare the Chinese verison.  Well to my surpise it wasn't that bad!  I got to enjoy good food and the company of 15 or so friends and other guests. My friend Kate brought her 25 year old chinese friend who had never eaten western food in her life, SHE HAD NEVER USED A FORK BEFORE.  She ate torelleni which she refered to as western dumplings (the chinese make terrific dumplings "jiaozi").

Squeezed inm between two birthday kids- eyes closed

After that we went dancing at club Phebe (there is one in Shanghai too). The club was about the same, DJ, music, green tea and whisky pitchers... except for the fact that there were three tiny chinese girls who worked there dressed as the Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf.  I thought maybe since I hadn't seen children in the past four years while I was at college I was missing out on something but turns out this is a Chinese sensation. There's over 100 episodes and an animated film, that I should probbaly pick up for 60 cents, that is the must successful animated film in chinese cinematic history. I smell an Academy Award. Anyways theses thigns are cute but it is pretty much the eqivalent of someone dancing in a full on Mickey or Minny Mouse costume at a club, odd.

Those are my friends, in costume heads

Well we slept in this morning and I got to see the sights of Hangzhou.  I was actually there with Charlie and Antonio at the end of my semester in Hong Kong. We took a paddle boat out on West Lake, Hangzhou's main attraction, and just hung around the lake area.  This time it was a little cold for that so I saw the real Hangzhou. We ate at a Muslim restsaurant (Xinjang Chinese Muslim food) that might have made me sick.  Then we went shopping on Rubber Street, a dirty crowded street filled with Chinese students from the six nearby universities. I actually mde me miss Shanghai shopping, which made me miss Hong Kong shopping which made me really miss American shopping.

After that I headed to the train station. The taxi man wanted to charge me 100 RMB to get to the station and I said no sir you are crazy it cost me 40 to get here. This was all in Chinse, if you think people in China speak english you are dead wrong.  Anyways my friend Kate convinced him to use the meter and I bid Kate and Hangzhou farewell.  even in China I like to always be right so I told the driver "wo gaosu le ni, ci shi kuai!" which is my rough translation of "I told you so!" and I was right 40 exactly. I will let no chinese man hustle me.

I just wanted to finish my book on the train home but the guy next to me insisted on talking.  I knew it was good practice so I put Nicholas Sparks aside and chatted with so and so next to me.  I got off the training feeling like I know NOTHING in Chinese but I think he actually thought it was a good conversation.  Maybe one day I will be able to have a real conversation but for now I am impressed I have the courage to say more than 5 words in a sentence.

No shave November v. shave in public November

Tis that time of year.  No shave Novemeber.  When boys start to look like men and men start to look like wolves.

I am actually a fan of no shave November.  This is mainly because a) I like a challenge and b) I don't like society dictating gender roles so if I accidently foget to shave my legs a few times, its only because its Novemeber.

The second issue of concern is public shaving. Other people have mentioned to me that they've seen men shaving on the metro and I was like this place is crazy and rolled my eyes.  Now I am seeing it everywhere. IT IS NOT OK. Can I shave on the metro too?

It's not only weird where they are shaving but how. The proper Shanghai technique is to scrunch your face as much as possible, then make try to make weird faces, while still keeping your face scrunched.

Personally, I think they should concentrate on other grooming habits such as wearing deodorant, let alone cologne, and cutting that one reallllllly long fingernail which is a disgusting habit that must be done away with.

Shanghai World Expo 2010: Disney World for Adults

It's twice the size of the country of Monnaco.  It cost more then the entire Beijing Olympics (D-D-Damn). It's Disney World for adults (and I mean Disney WORLD not Land because Florida is the best!). Just don't try to drink around the world  Epcot style [cough cough ALLIE] because there are over 240 countries represented here! 

Expo 2010 was INSANE.  I went four times and maybe saw a tenth of it. Unfortunately that's all I will ever see since the building are going to be torn down and/or auctioned off soon.  Expo ran from May 1- October 31 and during that time more than 70 million people visited including one million in a single day last month.



This is what one million people in 5 square km looks like.



The first World Expo, AKA World Exposition AKA World's Fair was in London in 1851.  The earliest Expos highlighted industrialization which brings my dad's question of whther I thought the countries highlighted science and technology.  Hardly.  It was more of countries branding themselves by highlighting many aspects of their culture.  In my opinion every exhbit had one of two themes: "come visit me" or "WE LOVE CHINA!". Most countries goal was either to chase you and your tourist dollars or to crack right into the Chinese market and take their $$$ ... I mean RMB. 

China's pavillion was the biggest of course.  Supposedly it is visible from every place in the park. I never went in because I rather see the real China than wait SIX HOURS in line to go in this building. There are plans to keep the pavillion as a permanent exhibit while the rest will be torn down.

Thailand and Singapore BFF.  Singapore displayed nearly their entire census on the walls, you could write a book with that information.  Thailand had a few different videos including one with water sprinklers and a squeeky sounding green guy.  The Thai pavillion was all in Chinese (suck ups).

I forgot to mention the romantic rooftop garden on the top of Singapore.  Consensus is Singapore the pavillion > Singapore the country.

Dress like a Singaporean? A surprisingly large number of the pavillions chose to highlight fashion. America had cowboy hats... and people bought them...siiiiiigh.

Countries chose whether to make their home language, english, or Chinese the most prominant (or only) language in their pavillion).  Throughout the inside, Indonesia stuck with English which made me happy they did not "suck up" to China, unlike Pakistan and Australia!

About as much free space as you get at expo

Bali 2011 here come John and I dressed as traditional Indonesians



John and annie... Miles would be in some pictures if he didn't miss work because he locked himself in the apartment this day.



Little countries need love too.  Brunei.



republika filipinas



Inside the Philippines pavillion was a serious rave.  If I hadn't been to the Philippines (Chinese New Year '09 woot woot Natalie and Jen!) I would assume that all the country has to offer is dried mangos and DJs.

Australia was probanly the most disney like pavillion I went in.  When you first enter, there is a chindrens choir singing Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (I probably spelled that wrong), which I always thought was a Brittish song.  My students say America has no culture.  Meet Australia, then we will talk.  I am so anti Australia.  Maybe the day I finally meet an Australian I like I will change my mind. Anyways the pavillion was cute.  The had a very catchy song whose lyrics were Expo's theme "Better City Better Life".  There well also cute figurines displaying Australia's-should-be-forgotten (because I don't care) history.

when you first walk into Australia.  Note the cute choir.  Ok enough about this place.

The Portugual one was really cool. It is made out of cork because apparently Portugal produces most of the world's cork. The pavillion had an interesting and educational video. I realized how attractive Portugese people are (China googles talking). You say potato I say Ronaldo.

Surprisingly not located directly under the Chinese pavillion (like Hong Kong and Macao are litterally in the shadow of the China pavillion).  Taiwan is actually located in the same section, but very far from China.

Nepal!  This one really made me want to travel, or at least eat.

Find your zen at the top of the Nepal pavillion

Israel.  Naturally located amongst the Arab countries.

I'd like to thank my really cool friend Josh for remember the Israel pavillion employees from Passover services and getting us to avoid the line.

Pakistan? Like 90% sure eeek.  It was a HUGE suck up to China. The inside was actually pretty crappy, very empty and had sorta broken hologram images.

t

Morocco, not to be confused with Monaco SAM!

I heard this one was cool but they have a giant line and I think it closes at sundown

UAE

The inside was kinda empty but had some exhibits on Turkmenistani history.

I think I will make my students calculate the area of this.

Saudi Arabia + cartoons.  The line as monstrous. 6 hours? There is an announcement which says about how long the wait is for all the exhibits.

Meet Haibo... the blue guy with the... eh I don't know what the thing on his head is called and I don't want to sound culturally insensitive.

India

Xibanye!  Its made out wicker and has a really cool video in it. I have a particular interest in the pavillions of countries that I have actually been too, although maybe that means I should have spent more time in countries that I haven't been to?  Oh well too late now! 

SPAIN! Miles and I tried to pretend we were cuban (too white to be spanish) in order to cut the line and even though she believed us, it didnt work.

This baby is HUGE and it moves and lives inside the Spain pavillion.  One of the biggest WTF moments of expo.

Switzerland! <3 It has a ski lift on the top...

5 hour line, hence I decided to wait 15 minutes for a Belgium waffle instead. expo food = delicious

South beach? Habana?



Miami?



The Venezuela pavillion had a lot of messages about a revolution.  Kind of scary.

CHILE! te echo de menos muchiiiiiiiiismo! Not the main entrance I was just so excited when I saw it I took a picture ASAP.  The pavillion was big but a little empty (kind of like Santiago).  There was a video of the streets of Santiago, wide roads and few cars and I was "es verdad!".  I got to eat empanadas and drink a mango pisco sour and it felt soooo good :)

Some people don't know how to focus a camera.  Me in front of Mexico (with a margarita and churro in my hand).  Yet another place Gato and Mantita explored.

Didn't get in but I like saying Baaaa xiiiii (thats chinese for Brasil)

Meiguo meiguo meiguo! i was like a kid in a candy shop. yea the pavillion was awful but I didn't care.

The USA Pavillion cost a measly $61 million dollars, compared to China's 220m and still farrrrr below what most other developed economies spent.  Unlike most countries, the U.S. government is prohibited from financing national Expo pavilions. As a result, they must be funded with corporate, private, or non-federal funds (e.g. state governments). Now for the catch-22: They cannot get real private support without government sanction, yet they cannot get government sanction without some assurance of private support.

Despite it looking and feeling like a giant Walmart, Miles and I sure had a blast in the pavillion.  That may be accredited to a few refreshments we had at the Chile and Mexico pavillions before hand. As US citizens we got to skip the 3 hour line :) Inside they asked if anyone was from the USA, and then they go "oh theres a big group in the back", but the big group was just me and tipsy Miles screaming MIAMI!  Obnoxious Americans.

The colors actually look like a map of SE Asia but Miles is pointing at the state of Michigan

Like I said, I was like a kid in a candy shop.  Happy smiles :)

Ain't that Amuurrrica

Half china hald american glasses

 

Shanghai World Expo was absolutely fantastic.  I would have blogged about it sooner if I thought it would convince any of you to go.  Don't worry you can catch Expo 2012 in South Korea but I doubt they will break the bank and put on a show like China.

MORE PICTURES TO COME WHENEVER MY INTERNET INCREASES BEYOND A SNAILS PACE.  These are just day 1! :)