Kids say the darnest things

I first compiled this list of whacky things my students have said to me right before Chinese New Year Holiday.  It was saved on my school computer which, detrimental to my teaching skills, cannot access many great websites such as Blogger.com.  So here it is, my list of odd comments from students.  Expect frequent updates.



"Miss Francesca I cannot do homework! I am a housewife" -A married 12th grade student

Spoken to a Chinese teacher "you look nice today"
Chinese teacher "Yes.... I know"

Student: Teach-AAAAAH!
Me: student!
Student: TEACH-AAAAH!
Me: Stuuuuuuudent
(giggles)
  -I like to be called by my name

"Teacher do not go to Japan! If you go to Japan many men will rape you!" -a Japanese student to me

Student: Miss Francesca, come play soccer.
Me:  I don't know how to play soccer
Student: I don't know how to do math but I still try.

Me reading a fill in the blank question aloud: "A __________  enjoys the benefit accruing from a collective effort, but contributes little or nothing to the effort. " 
Student: North Korea!
 ^the question was the book's definition of a free-rider but I laughed so much at the student's prompt and adamant response.  This is particularly humorous coming from a student whose country props the North Korea government up so that it does not collapse.

"Tibetians are short, stupid and angry people. The Dali Lama gave them all roofies and that's why they are crazy" -student who has actually gone to Tibet speaking about his experience

"American girls are tall?  Johnny, now you definitely better return those condoms" -typical math class discussion where a student realizes he yet again has false hopes about going to college in America.

"Miss Francesca, you should fly to Canada and drive home.  People in American airports will see you naked and touch you" -Math class.. again

"Do you think I can graffiti the art room again?  I promise I will pay for all the supplies and paint over it".  -Student writing a letter of apology to the art teacher after spray painting his name on the wall

On two pages of a final exam: "Too lazy" or "lazy" written for every answer.

Economics Final exam question: What is economics?
Answer:  Principles in Action
       (the student's answer the the subtitle of the book textbook.)

Final exam extra credit: Write three things Miss Francesca should do if she visits your home country "eat, sleep, drink beer"
Actually 90% of the students advised me to drink, but most listed some other items distinct about their country too.  Of course some students left it blank.